Gen-X: The Real Chameleons

And, why I have to go play outside for the next few months.

Spring is just around the corner and for this blogger it means less time behind the computer and more time on the green. The Rabbit Hole is not completely going away of course. Instead, I will occasionally pop in like an uninvited friend who comes bearing wine and conversation. I have been advised, that as a writer, I am supposed to dedicate my time to my weekly blog to build an audience, but there is another fun way to network with people.

When I was a kid, we called it “going outside and playing with your friends” and that’s what I intend to do in the Spring and Summer, weather permitting. I’m an old Gen-Xer, with Greatest Generation parents, Boomer siblings, and raised two Gen-Y kids. While us Gen-Xers claim rights to being told to “play outside, drink water from a garden hose,” and fetch Mom a pack of smokes from the Site station on the corner of Broadway, Boomers had similar childhoods. The truth is each generation has shared-experiences with the one adjacent to them, but it is the subtle changes that occur that end up creating future generational gaps that will be wielded as weapons against each other.

We survived dangerous crossings on busy roads while running parental errands on our banana-seated bikes, some fashioned with hand brakes. Boomers did it on old Schwinns. We were both Door-Dash before Door-Dash, and our newer bikes didn’t have a major effect on the generation gap.

However, one subtle difference between Boomers and Gen-Xers is we played a live version of “Frogger” dodging 5 O’clock traffic on the way to the arcade. Frogger happened to be one of my favorite video arcade games, and while it may not seem impactful to another generation, it actually represents a Gen-X trait that proves we are not really the lost generation.

Humor me for a few moments while I explain my definition of Generational Evolution.

Recently, a five-year-old girl on her bike, riding in the middle of our street gave me the stink eye for driving our car on her road. In my neighborhood, kids are rarely seen in a backyard. Playing in the front yard, driveway, and street is the new norm. On most days you’ll see parents stare down drivers as they make their way to and from home.

Times have changed. We played in the streets, sans parental approval. And if someone ratted us out for playing in the street, a parent scolded us for being disrespectful to drivers, neighbors or anyone that was inconvenienced by our street play. If we got hit by a car, while playing in the street, it was our own damn fault according to our parents. That was their way of saying it was unsafe, indirectly, but more importantly, we need to be self-reliant and make smarter decisions before we do something stupid.

Neighbors still air grievances about the neighborhood kids cutting through lawns, knocking over trashcans or driving motorized mini-bikes on their driveway. But something has changed. Aside from the complaints being aired on HOA social media platforms, there is a new plot twist: the kids are the victims.

Sure, there was always that parent who saw no wrong in their child’s behavior. And there was always that neighbor who complained about the kids because they hated everyone. But disrespecting someone else’s property was rarely acceptable behavior when we were kids, even if your parents thought the neighbor was a complete jerk. The difference being, we knew not to do it, and we knew the consequences for doing it, even if we did it. Our parents rarely went out of their way to defend our behavior because they knew, that we knew it was wrong.

So, when people complain to the HOA about the neighborhood kids violating the rules, and parents respond to the complaint by berating the neighbor as being non-neighborly for complaining, who is the real Karen here?

For example, it’s currently acceptable for parents to display bright orange folding signs on lawns to remind neighbors and guests in the subdivision to “drive like your kids live here” so their kids don’t get hurt playing in the street. When little Johnny illegally drives a golf cart erratically down the street, or Susie and her friends trample someone else’s lawn as a shortcut, is it wrong to have a sign that says, “F##k-around and find out?” I’m asking for a friend.

To those that say don’t be a Karen, I can only respond in the retort of my generation: “Don’t be a Dick.” Which is also one more subtle difference that proves generations evolve, and any perceived disparity shows up every third generation. Let me explain.

Being a Karen, as opposed to a Dick, is an example of generational evolution. It has an air of equality to it, though certainly its not the progress Gen-X women aspired too. I have a lot of friends named Karen, so I say to all boomer and gen-x Karens, don’t worry too much. Soon, Karen will be off the hook as Zoomers (Gen-Z) take to social media and demand we adopt a non-binary term to call out the Karens and Dicks in a gender-friendly way. I’m ahead of the game on this one and propose, “Don’t be an asshole.” It’s timeless and up-close, all those assholes look alike. Problem solved.

No generation evolves with a new attitude, rule change, or outlook without the influence of a previous generation. Sometimes, it just takes a whole generation to come into their own before the generations that raised them realize they may have created a monster. And, ironically, no one wants to admit that whatever they hate about the new generation is probably a bi-product of one or more previous generations.

Each generation is known for something good or bad. Gen-X is mostly known for, well, not being known. We are the smallest populous bunch squeezed between millennials and boomers. We don’t have a catchy label, like “boomer”, because we are supposedly lost. But that’s impossible in generational evolution.

What people call generational traits (a defining distinction of a generation) is often no more than rights-of passage that come with age. And, they may not look the same as your generation, but in disguise they are fundamentally the same. Here is what I mean. The social media memes are full of “okay grouchy boomer” and “damn lazy millennials”.

Eventually, everyone gets old and will bitch about the state of the world, random muscle pains, and the cost of gas. It is a God-given right after the age of fifty, so let’s be clear—boomers do not own the crab-ass trait, that’s transgenerational. Cm’on, you’ve seen the boomers' parents, right, the Greatest Generation? They survived multiple wars, the Great Depression, and wore white pants on streets made of dirt, then used a rock to beat off the stains. They were super cranky and displayed it as a badge of honor. Why do you think Boomers and Gen-Xers didn’t argue about having to play outside all day?

And really, are all millennials “lazy”? I know it is not completely true as I happen to know some hard working millennials. If they seem less motivated than past generations, it’s because things were different for them as kids like every other generation. But, every generation called their offspring or, the grand offspring LAZY. Flower-power children of the sixties labeled themselves pacifists. Their parents labeled them lazy. Most grew up and got their shit together. And if there is one common trait among all generations, it’s parents who instill upon their offspring the need to actually get their shit together.

As an older Gen-Xer who raised two Gen-Y kids, I admit we may have made it harder for their perceived transition to adulthood. And this logic will also hold true for the parents raising Gen-Z kids. We allowed time for them (and their friends) to play indoors. We also introduced them to video games. Don’t forget, we were the original gaming generation. And street play? We moved to neighborhoods with courts so they could experience the fun of playing in the street safely.

We wanted them to have the fond memories of playing hockey or tag in the streets. Who would have thought our kids liked it so much, they expanded those rights to the entire street as parents? It’s hard to complain without being a hypocrite. We would have played in the street more if old man Withers wasn’t always calling the cops. And, who knows, if a faceless media platform like Facebook existed between 1970 and 1990, maybe parents would have ranted on the crabby neighbor too, even if it wasn’t deserved. When the shoe is on the other foot (i.e., we are adults with property) we finally understand the desire for having our property respected.

Let’s face it. Some of which annoys the hell out of us about today’s generation actually is a byproduct of decisions made two generations ago. We bought the game consoles for our kids with every intention of playing it when they went to bed because we were the earliest video gamers. For the same reason Gen-Y kids became hooked on video games, Gen-X kids became TV addicts. Our parents used TV as a babysitter when we were left home alone, or as a distraction to keep us out of their hair.

By the time we became parents, our Gen-X childhood dreams came true: hundreds of TV channels were at our disposal. This included the 24-hour news channels that repeatedly explained our kids were in danger of pedophiles, gunfire, and rabid mountain lions that were migrating to the burbs. On top of this wildcard scenario, we remembered all the crazy shit we (and our friends) survived under our own supervision.

We provided conveniences we didn’t have as kids. Like, more than one bathroom in the house. We tried to create the welcoming environment we didn’t have, and deployed what we knew (technology) to create a home we could live in amicably with our offspring since letting them roam the streets at will no longer seemed like a good parenting choice. We had no idea it had the potential to completely backfire. Many millennials left the nest long after they reached the legal drinking age, not because they were all lazy. We sent the message that it was their home too.

If there is one aspect of the Gen-X life that changed how we went about our adult lives was our self-reliant upbringing, intertwined with ever-changing technology. Video gaming systems being just one example. We are the most adaptive generation of all—the original transformer. Think about it: every other year in our life was about adapting new tech. It happened in gaming, music, television, computing and overall communications. This is an example of why our generational trait should be redefined as “the chameleon.”

As a kid, my “Greatest Gen” parents had a 35 lb.-standard-issued black rotary phone hardwired into the wall, the kind exploited as a murder weapon on Columbo episodes. The biggest phone tech change from 1930 to 1970 was the unpluggable telephone line, push buttons and 100 ft. receiver chords.

Gen-X experienced the old style phones, but then we were introduced to wireless phone receivers at home, and soon after, the mobile phone arrived.

My first mobile, was a chorded-phone hooked to a black murse (man-purse bag) with a built-in wireless receiver and battery charger. The first time I “cut the chord” was when I upgraded that phone to the big, hand-held, walkie-talkie-style device. It looked like I was always calling in an air strike from the convenience of my car. And in the last two decades, my cell phone became small enough to fold in my pocket, before becoming big enough to have a keyboard. Then, our jobs demanded we be connected 24/7 (the worse decision ever).

The evolution in phone adaption is true for many boomers, but the subtle generational difference is that Gen-X adapted technology early, often and mostly with ease because we were the earliest beneficiaries of video arcades, game consoles, Sony Walkman’s and cable tv. We were not afraid of tech and often were self-taught because it was kryptonite to our parents. My mom refused to use the remote control on the VCR for two years as if pointing it the wrong direction could obliterate the television. Technology continued to advanced and we continued to adapt. Eventually, everything we grew up on, like personal computers, video games, tv and portable music was rolled into our dream gadget…smart phones.

It goes without saying the icing on the cake was seeing our Jetson dreams come true in our lifetime. The Jetsons first aired in 1962, but Gen-X Saturdays were nothing but 1960s reruns, so we have a bond with George, Elroy, Jane, Judy and Astro even if they were born Boomers.  George Jetson’s cool watch phone/TV was our dream timepiece. Jane’s video calls and the fake faces she wore to make herself look better on screen, were just our early introduction to Zoom and digital filters. Soon we will have our own Rosie the Robot to clean our toilets, open our wine bottles, and cook us a gourmet dinner, or that box of Kraft Mac and Cheese we still consider a classic meal.

So please, stop calling Gen-X the “lost generation.” We are not lost. We were raised to be chameleons. We are the adaptive-generation, the technological link between the boomers and millennials. We were helping grandparents use VCRs, boomers work a computer mouse, while reintroducing our kids to Star Wars, and bonding with them over video-gaming. When we get to the retirement home, we’ll be the ones drinking from the catheter hoses, not because we like it, but because of our prolonged exposure to lead paint in our toys. Plus, we can MacGyver a straw out of anything, which will be an important skill because chances are our offspring petitioned the home to have paper straws.

The law of generational evolution is this: we all know each generation did things they wished they could take back, like encouraging street play, introducing social media, or watching cable tv news. And I’m convinced using digital media to build a base of friends and fans, instead socializing the old fashion way (in-person) is the future regret of another generation. It will not be mine, but rest assured, it didn’t happen overnight. That is generational evolution at work.

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PLEASE NOTE: This chameleon is going to go outside to play (March to September) so The Rabbit Hole will go to a once-a-month newsletter. Like my golf game, it’s delivery will be inconsistent, but I will aim have a decent showing one of those Tuesdays each month.